A Question

Am I the only one who feels guilty about considering herself a feminist yet not wanting Hilary to win?

Three Cucumbers in a Bathtub

When I was a T.A., one of my composition students couldn’t come up with a title for his paper, so he slapped the above on before handing it in. Lately, I can’t think of titles, so I’m stealing.

I’m feeling a little guilty since I don’t have to go back to work for two more weeks, and I have a feeling most of my readers are back way before then. And I don’t actually teach for another five days after that. Just remember while you are hating me that I will probably get out much later in May than you all do.

And pity me, since I got the letter yesterday informing me that so-called Professional Day two weeks from today, which is usually a three-hour affair, will be ALL FRIGGIN’ DAY LONG this semester. It’s core competencies day! Lucky us. Now, let me say I am certainly not opposed to the idea that the college needs to have a sense of what students should be able to do when they leave us, but we’ve all been here before, haven’t we? And we know the result. After being talked at for an hour, we’ll all go into our breakout groups and waste large sheets of paper with our brainstorming which some busy bee will collect, and we’ll never hear about it again! Think I’m getting cynical after eleven years of this? Nah.

I’d rather be packing. Now that I’ve accepted the fact that we are going to be dirt poor paying two mortgages, I’m looking forward to moving. We are having the bedrooms painted before we move in, and new carpeting installed throughout the upstairs. I am so happy that I’m going to have an office of my own. And that the pooch is going to have her own little yard. One thing I won’t miss about condo living is not being able to just open the door and let her out.

Memories

So many hours I spent on my old black and white Mac Classic playing Tetris. Here’s a new spin on an old favorite.

Stuff

I just finished a draft of my application for promotion to full professor. This is miraculous given that it isn’t due until Monday, and I am the mistress of procrastination. I always feel kind of weird doing these things, especially trying to find the balance between justified self-promotion and arrogance. Everyone says I have nothing to worry about, and they are probably right, but worry I will. I mean, I know I have evidence of good teaching, leadership, and college service, and I know that most of my colleagues like and respect me, as do my Dean and Department Chair, but there is always that little bit of doubt: Could I have done one more thing? Will I be punished for being a loudmouth? Have students complained to other faculty about me? And on and on.

But in other news, we saw Atonement last night. Atonement is one of my favorite books of the last ten years. Ian McEwan’s language is magnificent, the story is heartbreaking, and the second half of the novel contains some of the most gutwrenching war writing I’ve ever experienced. When I first heard the film was going to be released, I swore I would not see it because it could not in any conceivable way measure up to the book. But then the reviews started coming, and I started to weaken until finally I had to see it. For the past few weeks I have begged the Significant Other to take me. “Revolting British class movie,” he said. But I won (well, I paid for it, so maybe I didn’t). And the film is very good. Wonderful performances, gorgeous photography, and surprisingly, close adherence to the text. For the first time in a long time, I cried in a movie theater (I won’t say why for those of you who don’t know the book/movie). But when we got in the car, the Significant Other let loose. How could I take him to that crap?! He’s never walked out of a film so angry!! This stupid bitch ruins these people’s lives and thinks writing a book atones for it?!

When I stopped laughing, I pointed out that only great art could elicit an emotional reaction that powerful. But he knows there are evil bitches in the world!! He doesn’t need to watch films about it!!

He was grumpy for the rest of the night.

Happy 2008

I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions, largely because my inability to ever keep them leads to feelings of failure that I really don’t need. The chemicals in my brain adequately depress me, thank you very much. However, after last night, I am never drinking apricot brandy in large quantities again.